The Tripartite Partnership for Parents

As a Behavioural Trainer and Career Counsellor, I often reflect on the profound truth that a child’s destiny rests on a delicate tripartite partnership—parents, school, and the child themselves. While schools provide structured learning for six hours daily, parents shape the remaining 18 hours at home. Simple mathematics reveals the reality: 90% of a child’s waking hours occur under parental influence, making parents’ role irreplaceable. Yet, Harvard’s Grant Study—the longest study on human happiness—confirms that parental emotional availability predicts success more than IQ or socio-economic status.

Consider the timeless parenting contrast from the sacred Mahabharata: Gandhari’s blindfolded resolve to stand by her husband, clubbed with overprotection for her son Duryodhana marred his character, fostering entitlement and tragedy. On the other hand, Yashoda’s balanced nurturing of young Krishna blended unconditional love with gentle boundaries, appropriate punishments, and real-world lessons. Krishna emerged resilient, wise, and compassionate—qualities Yashoda cultivated through presence, not perfection. Parents today would do well to emulate Yashoda’s equilibrium.

What does this look like in practice? First, cultivate a harmonious environment at home. A nurturing environment acts like fertile soil, enabling children to grow as strong trees and flourish amid life’s storms. Prioritise meaningful conversations and quality time over mindless scrolling on the mobile. Research from the American Psychological Association shows children exposed to parental conflict develop 32% higher anxiety levels and gravitate toward unhealthy peer influences. Your calm presence acts as their emotional anchor.

Second, resist the temptation of overprotection. Allow children to fight their own battles, forging resilience and street smart practical youngsters. Administer “Vitamin N”—strategic NOs—that replaces over-cushioning and immediate gratification. A Stanford study found grit outperforms talent in predicting achievement. Then, helicopter parenting, conversely, produces fragile adults ill-equipped for reality. Let them earn victories through their own effort, not the entitlement provided by you.

Third, instil an attitude of gratitude. Model thanksgiving for everyday blessings—the  light of a new day, nourishing meals, secure home, and financial stability. Neuroscientific research reveals gratitude rewires the brain, boosting serotonin by 25% and enhancing life satisfaction. Children who count blessings rather than complaints attract abundance and inner peace.

Ultimately, your child’s character and habits will determine their altitude. While schools provide runway and wings, parents supply the fuel and flight path. A recent UNICEF report notes 85% of a child’s moral compass forms at home before age 12. When parents consciously provide emotional security, resilience, and thankfulness, children don’t just survive—they soar.

Remember, our children watch us closely, absorbing more than we realize. What legacy of love, strength, and gratitude will you leave them? Think about it again…

Dr. Veena K. Arora
Director, 3T