In one of my recent training sessions on organizational culture and inclusive leadership, I posed an unusual question to the group:
“What can we learn from the game of musical chairs?”
Smiles, chuckles, and a few eye-rolls followed. “It’s just a children’s game,” someone said. But then we dug deeper—and the real insights began to emerge.
The Old Game
Most of us grew up playing the classic version of musical chairs—sometimes while mixing it with, “ring-a-ring o roses”. Ten players, nine chairs. Each round, one chair is removed. The music stops. Someone is out. The last child sitting is the winner.
In this simple game lies a silent lesson we internalize early:
“In order for me to win, someone else must lose.”
This is a microcosm of how many organizations still operate. We reward individual success, celebrate lone winners, and subtly foster a mindset of scarcity and competition.It’s the “exclusion mindset.”It may drive short-term results, but in the long run, it creates silos, fear, unhealthy rivalry, and burnout. And in today’s world, that simply doesn’t work—you’d agree, if you are working for any professional organization.
The New Game
Now contrast this with how the same game is played in Japanese kindergartens.Ten children. Nine chairs.But with one key rule change:
If even one child is left without a chair, everyone loses.
Suddenly, everything changes. The children cooperate. They hug, adjust, and squeeze together to ensure no one is left out. They celebrate their success as a group—not as individuals.“I can’t win unless we all win.”“We’re in this together.”This is the “inclusion mindset.”
In my training, we connected this version of musical chairs to real workplace dynamics. What if project teams were rewarded not just on individual KPIs, but on how well they collaborated? What if promotions were based on lifting and empowering others, not just competing with them?
In another leadership training session I facilitated recently, a senior manager shared how their company switched from superior rating system to a 360-degree feedback system that emphasized team performance and collaboration.Within a year, they observed:
- A 20% increase in cross-functional projects
- Higher employee engagement scores
- A drop in internal conflict and attrition
- And, most importantly, a stronger sense of belonging across teams
They had shifted from exclusion to inclusion—and it proved to be transformational.
In 3T training sessions, we consciously incorporate ice-breakers, games, simulations, role-plays, video case discussions and several other activities as a two-pronged strategy—to learn, with fun. It is a more interesting and engaging way to drive home the point to the training participants and the take aways stay with them even after they return to their work stations or cubicles.We training them to on different approaches to improve theirmindsets.
So, as leaders, educators, and changemakers, let us refer to the one game mentioned above, i.e. musical chairs, and ask ourselves:
- What kind of “musical chairs” are we playing?
- Are we creating winners at the cost of others?
- Or are we redesigning systems so that everyone can win?
The rule of 3 which I apply during de-brief after every activity during a session, emphasises the following 3 take aways from the activity:
🌱True maturity lies in recognizing our interdependence.
🤝True success lies in shared achievement.
💡And true leadership lies in shifting from “I” to “We.”
Let’s reimagine our workplaces, schools, and communities—where collaboration replaces competition, and success is measured not by elimination, but by inclusion.
